stars and scars

darkest-of-smiles:

image

Uh-huh, sure Alfred, sure~! 

-pokes stomach- But now you’re talking to me huh. You are desperate… Not surprised again though, you always seek for attention, even from the people you don’t like -shrugs- 

//swats his hand away// I’m not desperate. If I can recall, you were the one who approached me first. But now since your annoying face is here— No. I’m going to stop right there. 

(Source: the-american-hero)

darkest-of-smiles:

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aw, has little Alfred become a loner now? To tell you the truth, I’m not surprise at all, I knew one day you would see just how annoying you truly are!!

It’s not—! Ugh, I just didn’t want to talk to anyone, dumbass. 

(Source: the-american-hero)

darkest-of-smiles:

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no woman rejecting you is the best joke I’ve heard in a while Jones! 
Well I would not be surprise if I were you, after all they were bound to get bore of you sooner or later. 

Al—!

I just haven’t gone out in a while, alright? I’ve been avoiding everyone, that’s all.

(Source: the-american-hero)

darkest-of-smiles:

the-american-hero:

sighs loudly

-smirks- what? Got rejected by another woman again, idiot? I would not be surprise, since it’s you.

Excuse you, but no woman would ever reject me. But to answer your question, no. I didn’t even ask anyone out. I haven’t talked to anyone lately.

sighs loudly

you started this now you suffer more

darkest-of-smiles:

He sighed loudly, his head spinning with all the possibilities of seeing his beloved family again. Seeing Alfred again. “I remind you that I’m half a nation..” He weakly replied, closing his eyes as he fought the urge to just get up and go to the airport. 

“Alfred… I wasn’t rained as you were, remember?” He sadly smiled, his eyes falling on the picture in the wall. “I am not prepare to say good-bye again… Not again… God I’m an idiot,” he declared, banging his head lightly on the wall behind him and spreading his stiff legs. 

“I am an idiot because I’m letting you convince me to go to the airport right now…” He confessed, his heart beating faster as the idea attached to himself.

"I know," he said softly into the phone. And he understood completely. Being half a nation technically means that you’re sort of half a human, too. That people wouldn’t even think twice about you because you’re not that important. It hurt Alfred that the other was being treated that way, which made him want to express his love some more.

"I remember," he sighed. "But come on. It’s not like we’re never gonna see each other again if say good-bye one more time." He pursed his lips and scratched his chest.

He smiled at little at that, hoping that he would end up convincing him in the end. “Come on. Please? Just take a break for a couple of days with us and we can spend time like the old days.”

you started this now you suffer more

darkest-of-smiles:

“That part will never change, I believe,” he admitted, a soft smile quickly appearing as he heard the chuckle the other gave. It was so comforting to hear him chuckle, even for a few seconds. 

He sighed as the other said he knew that he loved him, even though it was silly to worry about this, Alfred was paranoid that he would be hurting him without even knowing. He smiled at the phone, his heart beating quicker and his hands sweating like if it was the first time he said I love you to someone. 

Alfred bit down on his bottom lip, lightly nibbling while he consider the idea of going back home. Going back meant spending at least a few hours with his family, but it also meant having to say goodbye again. 

“…I should….”

….

” I want to…. But… Alfred…”

Alfred could feel the other’s smile through the phone, his heart beating quicker than it should this late at night. He looked at his alarm clock that was on the nightstand— two a.m. He couldn’t care how late it was at the moment. As long as he kept speaking to Al, then time was frozen to him.

He was afraid that he was hurting Al himself, thinking that maybe because he didn’t want to let the other go, then the other couldn’t be happy. And all he wanted was for him to be happy. The blonde didn’t know what to do, but breaking off their relationship was definitely the last thing he wanted.

"But…?"

He let out a loud sigh, his eyes shut closed with fear. “No. No ‘buts’, Al. You come home right now. I don’t care whether you have to leave a minute after, but I need to see you for one second. Please. Don’t be scared that we have to say good-bye again; we always have to do that anyways. It’s what us Nations were trained for. But I need to say hello to you again face-to-face.”

darkest-of-smiles sent: cami, you know that song from marianas trench "ever after"? that's so darkfred and alfred :I

noo i do not know it but ima listen to it right now

you started this now you suffer more

darkest-of-smiles:

Alfred’s words hurt, they hurt because it reminded him of times where he was with him and how he would encourage him. Sighing, he took the blanket off of him and pulled his legs closer to him, wrapping his arms around them while holding his phone between his shoulder and ear. 

“I am thought and even though you say I am not, I still don’t believe you,” Alfred closed his eyes, listening to the other, enjoying having him so close to him even thought it wasn’t as close as he thought. 

“I could never ignore you Alfred, please, just remember that, even though I’m an asshole and I don’t reply, I check everything and I love you… I love you so much…”

He took a deep breath, his heart aching because he needed to say those words in front of the other, but knew he couldn’t. 

“I should…” He agreed

Alfred twisted his head a little to look at the pictures on his wall again, a small smile perching on his lips. He loved hearing the sound of his fiancee’s voice again, but he hated that it had to be over the phone. He wanted to hear it loud and clear in front of him, calling him and idiot and telling him how much he loved him.

"You never believe anything I say," he chuckled weakly into the phone. He sank down into his bed and let the pillow cocoon his head, turning his body so that he was laying on his side.

His smile widened when the other told him that he could never ignore and that he loved him. He felt like a school boy in love all over again, just like he did the first time they fell in love. “I know. I know you do.”

He bit down on his lip while he let the other think it through. “You should take the first flight over here tomorrow morning. Please.” 

you started this now you suffer more

darkest-of-smiles:

He continued to look at the ceiling, a struggle between doing what he wanted and doing what was best going on inside of him. He wanted to see Al as much as Al wanted to see him, but he did not want to feel more guilty than what he already felt by leaving Al alone. 

“I never pick up because… I…” he sighed, in reality it was mostly his fear of pain. 

“I’m a coward that could never answer you… You kept on calling on reminding me.. Leaving me messages … And I was too scared to answer, too scared to promise and to hurt… I did check them though, every single one of them…”

He laughed at himself, shaking his head at his actions, “I am a weak person… I weak person that needs to see you, to hug you and to be wit you… I don’t know what to do Alfred…” He admitted, his head banging lightly against the wall. It was now an hour later since they started, their brain refusing to shut down and neither of them willing to end the call anytime soon.

Alfred got up from the floor and slowly walked back to his room in silence, his ear feeling hot against the phone. He switched the phone to his other ear as he laid on his bed, putting a hand on his heart. It was beating rapidly— he actually wasn’t expecting that. He didn’t feel as calm as he sounded.

"You’re not a coward," he whispered into the phone. He was so afraid to speak up and clearly. He wanted to pretend that he was still next to the other, sharing secrets into each other’s ears and whispering sweet nothings again just like they did before. "You are never a coward."

He licked his lips and listened to him, nodding to himself. “I’m glad you checked the messages, though. I didn’t want you to think that I forgot about you. I wanted you to know that no matter where the hell you are, I still love you.”

The blonde stayed silent for a moment, the only sound being their breathing. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the backboard of the bed, not even tired.

"You should come home."